In the interum...

So, today is lazy Sunday. Israel starts working on Yom Reshon, but I sit on my ass. Fear not, Dear Reader! A new chapter will unfold before your eyes! The gallery I work at (www.nogagallery.com) has opened a new show featuring Keren Cytter's work including two videos (Four Seasons and Russelments [don't hate me because my French spelling sucks] du Diable). I have decided to write a short review and turn it into a delicious treat for you, Dear Reader.

Love soonest

Daniel

Kin George

Hello Beautiful People!

So, I shall begin with a sincere and heartfelt apology for the long delay in the uploading of this post. I am a jerk. And a tease. And many other terrible things. You should all probably stop reading my blog because I am such a terrible person (but not really). I feel like I should make excuses, but you know what they say (excuses, assholes, etc.).

Without further apologetic muttering, King George!

[Imagine here an incredible well shot picture of the facade of the restaurant. Pictures inc as soon as they increase the pace of my internet past facemeltingly slow]

The King George(s) (King George-im?) is a restaurant located on both Hamech George and Rechov Ha'Arbah. I have imbibed at both locations a grand total of four times, and each time I found the experience very enjoyable. The food is good to excellent across the board and the Price! If you manage to get a table during Happy Hour, which runs until 1900 or talk you way into Happy Hour prices (Israel is all about The... Art of.... The Deal) the cost cannot be beat. During my first foray, with a table of five, we all got drinks (wine, beer what have you) and an enormous portion of food and split three appetizers for under 40 shmeks a piece. 40 shmecks! Thats like $10 American. I can't remember the last time I got a burger in the states for under $10. It was like a happy ending.

[Imagine more pretty pictures of a packed restaurant with a faux Sistine Chaple fresco over the bar]

But I should begin at the beginning. The decor was pleasant, if a little strange. On the walls hang reproductions of British Royalty in clear plastic frame (with bubbles in the plastic, uch). The service is fair to good, which is to say excellent in this country, both at the bar and at tables. The bartenders are fun and engaging without being overbearing and the entire experience is English friendly. The wait staff is brilliant, and I have to to see anybody write anything down or get a messed up order. And, best of all, as many rounds of bubbly bug-juice as you can drink are offered to you while you wait on the benches conveniently located right outside the entrance.

[Another beautiful picture this time of American Jews sitting in the King George, enjoying delicious pasta and schnitzel]

The food is very good, if slightly unimaginative. Several different kinds of pasta, with cream sauce/red sauce ported to each plate as appropriate (pasta with mushrooms and creams sauce! Sweet potato ravioli with cream sauce!) and an assortment of fried foods. There is also a grill menu which I have yet to sample, as they tend to be on the expensive page of the menu. Very decent fare with huge portions. Well worth it.

Overall 4 falafel balls out of 5.

In other news I start my internship tomorrow ( www.nogagallery.com ) so hopefullly in my next post I will get to put in some sweet tidbits about Israeli art in addition to adressing the Dancing Camel Brew/Bar.

Lilah Tov, Dear Reader, and stay well.

Big Slechah

OK, not a an update, but an update. I had my post written then my computer crashed (my dog ate my homework) and I will re-write it tomorrow when I get home from my trip up north.

Love and Whambulance

Maui Wowie

So here's the start: I am in Tel Aviv! I have been in Israel for almost three weeks, one of which I spent in Jerusalem. This city has a million upsides and one downside: It is way way too hot. I don't think its been under 80% humidity and 90 degrees since I arrived. But, counteracting that, is everything else. Incredible shops. Out of this world food. Biking, sightseeing, nightlife, every industry imaginable. And the beach! Oh, the beach. The Tel Aviv beach is God's gift to the Jews: The destruction of two temples, two thousand years of diaspora and persecution; Have a beach filled with the most beautiful women in the world where your only competition is balding nubishy jewish men and arseim (arseim are Israeli guidos).

In short, it's like this:

Hertzel said (paraphrased): "The dream of Zionism with be truly realized when Jewish johns are soliciting Jewish prostitutes and being arrested by Jewish cops." Tel Aviv is that place.

I live on the corner of Hamasger and Yitzak Sede which is a great location if you're A) a businessman who loves Shendu, the strip club across the street (pictures of the view from my window forthcoming) or B) a girl working at Shendu. Not so great for a well muscled (getting HY-YOJ) 20-something with aspirations of Jet-Setting. Oh man, was there ever housing drama, and was it every hilarious.

The plus side is its proximity to Rechov Ha'Arbah (Fourth Street) which is home to many fine eateries and beveriaries (I just made that word up, it means "places to get drunk"). One such establishment, The King George, will be the subject of my first review, forthcoming shortly.

Such is the overview of the beginning of my new life at GMT +3 (+4?). Alas, I must away to the beach for a delightful holiday potluck set to the sounds of Fleet Foxes and crashing surf. But fear not, Dear Readers, I shall return soonest and, better yet, with pictures!